last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
