Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
