I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I touched a dick in church today
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
