I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
That's when you crack a 10am beer
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
