well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
zippers are such a cool invention
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize