our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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