Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
