so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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