I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
