I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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