Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
So much Jack, so little girl.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
