You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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