He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
