I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You are a genius and a whore.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
