Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
