Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
