What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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