i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
