best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
