I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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