I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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