Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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