just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
