Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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