She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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