I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
