**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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