I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize