Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
