Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
