worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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