The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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