I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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