Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
