Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
