I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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