Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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