he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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