Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
