trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
