How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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