If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
