I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
