Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
