Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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