And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Randomize
