We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
