I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
