Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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