I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
