I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
