Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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