Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
