I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize