he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Is it penis luge time yet?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
